finding joy in the process

i have been asked many times in the last month about my show and "how it went."

my initial reaction is a thank you and a little smiley response about how happy i was about the whole experience - all very true.  my second reaction is HOW CAN I PUT THAT KIND OF CREATIVE PROCESS INTO NEATLY PACKAGED WORDS FOR YOU?!   i usually mention how it was an incredible amount of effort and work and how it was over in practically the blink of an eye.  also true!  and how incredibly grateful i am for all the love and support in the room.  so true.

it's the end of june.  in the past two months, i have had the amazing emotional high of the show, and the realization that i presented my own choreographic work for a couple hundred people in new york city.  i've had the low of three rejected choreography submissions, one failed grant, and have let a couple of deadlines slip by.  in each of these - varied in their "i poured my soul into this" quality, from i-threw-this-together to this-is-the-largest-undertaking-of-my-life - i have a new sense of taking it in, breathing in the moment of joy (or elation, disappointment, bitterness, letdown, pride), letting it come in, then looking up to see what's next.

there's a sort of satisfaction and joy in this "that was perfect, and now what?" approach to my creative life.  i think it's part of the maturing process as an artist.  first, your art is everything, and as you hone your craft and your work gets closer to the work of your soul, you actually treat it more like minor works in the ongoing project that is your artistry - from first piece to last piece.  how this "piece" goes doesn't really matter - the fact that you do it is the only necessary part.  on to the next.  checking off each rejection and success on the path of your life's work, step by step.

so what's next for me?  not really sure.  but there's a little improv i've started working on for something brand new, and i'm craving collaboration.  onto the next!