a quick thought on guilt.

after dwelling on gratitude the other day, i thought i should throw the other side of the story out there.  sometimes i feel SO blessed, SO lucky, that when i get down in the mouth about things i feel like laughing at myself (cue dick van dyke... anyone?) because it's ridiculous that a person who has had so much provided in life should feel angsty/angry/disappointed.  and then the guilt sets in, because i feel bad that i'm not just making the most of all i have to be grateful for.

then that gets pretty crippling, too, because as i'm sure you know, guilt isn't a very creative emotion.  and while i obviously think having a little perspective (ie, i grew up in a beautiful town in the midwest with this loving family who sent me to this fantastic college and then supported me when i moved halfway across the country, etc, which is just a little easier than growing up, say, in a third-world country with a single parent) is important, the truth is, that shouldn't be a limiting factor.  in fact, it's pretty snotty to allow it to be a limiting factor, considering all i've been 'given.'  pretty vicious cycle, huh? well then.  back to the start.

once again, it all comes down to: creating.  not because of anything, not in spite of anything, just making something for the sake of making something.

in the spirit of creating, i reworked The Way We Danced 'Til Three, with some holes, for eight performers.  i sat in central park with my ipod and my notebook and didn't let myself get up until i had an outline.  nearly three hours later i was a little stiff and hungry, but the skeleton is there! more to come on that, soon.