2012, the best year yet.

ah yes, the end of december.

i'm back at home after spending time with family and friends, and as the peacefulness and joy of the season has settled, i (like everyone, ever) inevitably turn toward the future.  setting "resolutions," looking forward to events coming up, etc.

i also look back. a certain special someone toasted me on new year's eve last year: "to 2012, the best year yet."  (little did i know that he had some plans to make this the best year yet, but that's beside the point.)  i jumped at the chance and toasted, heartily, to 2012, the best year yet - caught up in the happy moment, laughing headlong into that conviction without a doubt.  and you know what?  it was amazing.

for the past three years i've operated under the principle that what you do for the first 30 days of the year shapes that whole year.  for me, that's been a focus on choreography and creating something every day.

that has given me a lot of drive and a LOT of wonderful raw material to draw from in my work.  i always learn something about myself, about my choices and habits, and about what keeps me going creatively.  but i've also been learning something else, with even farther-reaching consequences: the power of conscious thought.

what we focus on will come to be.  we've all heard this in a million different ways, seen it in compelling square digital graphics, heard it in inspiring speeches.  i think you can't really know about that until you give it a chance - a real, fighting chance.  example?  i decided to consciously focus on gratitude in 2012, and now, looking back, all i can tangibly remember is the incredible abundance in my life - in friends, in family, in love, in adventures, even in accomplishments.  really.

so what to focus on for 2013?  i haven't worked out the specifics.  but 2013 is going to be about being BIG. in an effort to be modest, to find a dancer aesthetic, to be polite, i've become aware that i've also been continuously trying to make myself smaller and less "in the way."  well, let's be real.  i'm not one of those ladies whose beauty is in demureness or exquisite daintyness or in a quiet, serene beauty.  my life is kind of loud and messy and wonderfully joyful, and i'm kind of weird and wonky and silly, and i have decided that none of those things keep me from being "beautiful" and powerful and living an incredible life.

as i sit back on the late december days of 2013, i can't wait to remember all the big, enormous, wonderful things that will fill my year.